Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
