I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
