waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
