my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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