You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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