you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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