come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
