I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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