What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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