She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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