He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
