I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
