areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
