Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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