you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
