I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
