We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
