I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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