What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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