we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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