he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
