How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
