i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
