the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
