I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
