My hand turned me down
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
