i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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