She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
