Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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