How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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