ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
