Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
