is wine microwaveable?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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