Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
