This is not my ceiling
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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