Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
