I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
