I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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