you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
