so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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