i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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