So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
