I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
