What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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