You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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