i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she peed on how many people?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize