Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
