Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
