sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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