She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
