Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize