If i come over, it means nothing
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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