Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
