Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
