he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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